Why I Wrote Raising a Black Belt After Almost 3 Decades

I still remember the day Sarah walked into my studio with her seven-year-old son, Michael.

Her eyes were red. Clearly, she’d been crying in the parking lot before coming in. When I asked what brought her to Tri-Star, she broke down again.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she said. “He gets bullied at school. He won’t look anyone in the eye. He comes home crying almost every day. I feel like I’m failing him as a mother.”

Michael stood behind her, shoulders hunched, staring at the floor.

That was over fifteen years ago.

Four years later, however, Michael tested for his Black Belt. Standing in front of 100 people—parents, students, instructors—he delivered a speech about perseverance that brought tears to every eye in the room. Including mine.

From the front row, his mother watched, beaming with pride.

This is why I wrote Raising a Black Belt.

The Pattern I Couldn’t Ignore

In almost three decades of teaching martial arts, I’ve had thousands of conversations with parents. And here’s what keeps me up at night:

They’re all saying the same things.

• “My child has no confidence.”
• “She gets bullied and won’t stand up for herself.”
• “He can’t focus on anything for more than five minutes.”
• “She’s glued to screens all day and won’t talk to us.”
• “He’s so shy he won’t even order his own food at a restaurant.”

Almost three decades. Thousands of families. The same fears. The same heartbreak. The same desperate hope that something will help their child break through.

And here’s what I’ve learned: Children don’t lack potential. They lack belief in their potential.

Every single child who walks through my doors has greatness inside them. Every single one. But somewhere along the way—through criticism, comparison, failure, or fear—they stopped believing it.

As a result, my job isn’t to give them confidence. Rather, it’s to help them discover the confidence that was always there.

The Moment Everything Changed

A few years ago, I was sitting in my office after a long day of classes. Earlier that evening, I’d just watched a timid five-year-old break a board for the first time. The look on her face—pure shock, then joy, then pride—reminded me why I do this work.

But then I had a sobering thought:

What about all the kids I’ll never meet?

Tri-Star has two locations. We serve Bradley, Bourbonnais, Kankakee, New Lenox, Frankfort, and Mokena. Over the years, we’ve helped thousands of families.

However, there are millions of parents out there struggling with the same challenges. Parents who will never walk through my doors. Parents who are lying awake at 2 a.m. wondering if their child will ever find their confidence, their voice, their strength.

Parents who need help now.

That’s when I realized: These principles can’t stay inside my studio walls.

The framework we use to transform timid kids into confident leaders, unfocused students into disciplined achievers, and bullied children into anti-bullying advocates—this framework needs to reach every parent who needs it.

So I wrote it all down.

What You’ll Find in This Book

Raising a Black Belt isn’t just about martial arts. Instead, it’s about raising confident, disciplined, and resilient kids in a world that makes parenting harder every year.

Inside, you’ll discover:

• Grit –The ability to keep going when things are hard, boring, or uncomfortable
• Respect – Treats others with kindness while commanding respect themselves
• Resilience – Bounces back from failure and sees challenges as opportunities
• Discipline – Follows through on commitments and works toward long-term goals
• Leadership – Inspires peers, stands up for what’s right, and leads by example

This isn’t theory. This is what works. In fact, these are the exact strategies I’ve used with thousands of families—and now they’re yours.

A Letter to Every Parent Reading This

If you’re reading this, I know you care deeply about your child’s future.

• You see their potential, even when they don’t.
• You lie awake worrying about their confidence, their friendships, their ability to handle life’s challenges.
• You want them to believe in themselves the way you believe in them.

That’s exactly why I wrote this book for you.

Because your child has greatness inside. They just need you to help them see it.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Join Me on Launch Day

Raising a Black Belt launches Tuesday, November 18th at 9:00 a.m. CST.

For launch day only, the Kindle version will be just $0.99.

This is my gift to parents everywhere who want the same transformation for their kids that I’ve witnessed in my studio for almost three decades.

The confidence. The discipline. The resilience. The unshakeable belief in themselves.

It’s all possible. And it starts with you.

👉 Visit https://tristarkarate.com/books/ to learn more and get notified on launch day.

Mark your calendar. Set your alarm. Tuesday, November 18th at 9:00 a.m. CST.

Let’s raise a generation of Black Belts together.

Duane Brumitt is the owner of Tri-Star Martial Arts Academy in Illinois and a master instructor with almost 30 years of experience helping children become confident, disciplined leaders. Learn more at tristarkarate.com.