As you go about your daily life, take notice of how you relate with your family, friends, and co-workers. What do you see – a kind, patient, caring person who goes out of her way to take other people’s feelings into consideration?
Or do you find that you often feel on edge, tense, in a hurry, or downright angry toward others?
If the latter is the case, this article will help you focus on and clarify what you might be angry about. Once you identify what’s making you mad, you can proceed to a solution.
Consider these possible reasons for carrying around your anger:
1. You wish your life situation was different. Are you living the life you truly want to live? Have things turned out for you the way you always hoped or planned? Or are the specifics of your life astoundingly different and maybe even disappointing from what you want your life to truly be?
- Make a plan today to change one thing that is important to you. Follow your plan. Then repeat, for just one thing at a time.
2. You’re in an unhappy relationship. For whatever the reasons, the two of you aren’t relating very well. Perhaps you argue frequently or you don’t prefer the same things. You might have even “checked out” of the relationship emotionally. You’re not quite sure how to change things so you simply get angry.
- Allowing yourself to honestly confront the truth will lead you to the life you seek.
3. You struggle to resolve an issue from your youth. You find yourself often thinking of your dysfunctional family or how growing up the way you did seems to mark every day of your life. Why did your father have to be an alcoholic? How did your brother think it was okay to pick on you all those years?
- Unresolved family-of-origin issues often trigger angry feelings.As you encourage yourself to face such issues, you’ll be motivated to reach your own resolutions for a happier life.
4. You want to earn a college degree. When you were in high school, it was your biggest dream that you’d go to college and become a teacher. But life happened and you didn’t do it. It nags at you. You always thought you’d do it but here you are, 10 years after high school graduation, and you don’t have a college diploma.
- And you’re upset with yourself that you’ve not made more of an effort to achieve your dream. It’s okay to dream and to even pursue what you want 10 years later. Realizing such issues will logically help you figure out what to do about them.
5. You’re disgusted about your lack of taking care of yourself. You used to work out and keep your abs in shape. But now, you wear floppy, too-big t-shirts to hide how out-of-shape you are. You grab a fast-food meal on the way home from work and crash out on the sofa when you get home.
- Admitting to yourself what’s going on will ignite your self-confidence to improve your personal habits.
6. You’ve become a person you don’t know anymore. Your life is on a path that you’re unhappy with, yet you’re confused about how to change it. You care less and less about how you treat others, even those you love. You’re getting angrier every day.
- Recognize that you have the power to make any change you want.
7. You or someone close to you suffered a trauma. Whenever a trauma occurs, the person’s feelings are initially panic, fear, and maybe horror. When the traumatic event ends, confusing and troubling feelings remain.
- You might think, “Why did it have to happen?” It’s difficult to accept that such a troubling event could occur. But it did. It makes you feel angry at the world. One choice to move forward is to seek professional help.
If you find yourself feeling annoyed, frustrated, and angry frequently, it’s probably time to reflect on what’s really going on with you. Determining why you’re angry can be very helpful in knowing what to do to decrease your troublesome feelings.
Working through your anger will free you from your unhappiness.