As with most things in life, trying to effect change can at first seem like moving a mountain. If you’ve ever felt this way at the thought of changing certain aspects of yourself, you’re not alone.
The good news is that it’s completely natural to feel a bit overwhelmed at first, at the idea of stepping outside of your comfort zone, even if in a seemingly small or insignificant way.
In order to combat the overwhelming proposition of change, try to tackle the issue by working on one tiny step at a time.
If you’re interested in how to become more social, we know that the end goal is to meet more people.
Some questions that might make sense to ask are: What’s one thing that you can do right now? What’s one small step that you can take this very moment to bring you closer to that goal than you were a minute ago?
If you’re thinking about potential answers then you’re already doing a great job!
1. One possible step could be to get out of the house. It’s a seemingly simple answer, yet it does meet the criteria we’ve established being that it is a small step that you can take right now, which also brings you closer to your goal.
- Ever see a movie called “Baby Steps” starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfus? It’s an oldie but goodie, and the entire plot centers around Bob (Bill Murray) who suffers form OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).
- His therapist, Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfus) has just published a groundbreaking book entitled “Baby Steps,” which advocates a cure for all sorts of anxiety and issues by focusing on the one immediate step that an individual can take at that exact point in time.
- Some may call this living in the moment, but no matter how you frame it, this is a way that can help you meet your goal of becoming more social.
2. After you get out of your house, ask yourself again: now what? You could go to a place where other people hang out.
- This is an exciting step, because you get to pick which kind of people you like to hang out with. If you want to hang out with studious types, you can go to a library. If you want to hang out with bikers, you can go to a biker bar.
3. So now that you’re at this new hangout, what do you do next? Talk to someone! See how you can take it just one step at a time? There’s no need to overwhelm yourself with details of a complete plan all at once.
4. If you see people congregating at a new venue, what is something that you can do right now to become more social?
- You won’t make new friends standing up against the wall or in the corner of the room! Get out there and get some proximity to the group of people you want to hang out with.
Note of caution: Unless you’re a pre-programmed robot with pre-written scripts for all social occasions, you are going to find yourself not knowing what to say and this is completely okay! Just go with it.
Believe it or not, you can be quite the social butterfly by quietly listening to what others have to say and asking them questions about the things that interest them. In fact, you may find that this is one of the biggest secrets of some of the most successful social butterflies in the world.