Have you ever told yourself you were going to do something, but then turned around and made sure it wasn’t going to happen? That’s a great example of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is all too common. Self-sabotage guarantees that you maintain the status quo, whether the status quo is good or bad. You’re naturally resistant to change.
This sabotage is rarely intentional. We subconsciously do and say things that make success much less likely. You might accidentally fail to set your alarm cook and be late to an important interview as a result.
Self-sabotage can be challenging to spot, but your friends and family are an excellent resource. It’s easier to spot in others.
Learn more about self-sabotage and discover how you can get rid of its negative influences.
1. Self-sabotage is a form of control. When an outcome is uncertain, we can create certainty by failing intentionally. You can ensure the lack of a job offer by being late to your interview, rather than suffer from the lack of control that comes from waiting for that phone call after the interview.
- Self-sabotage allows you to dictate the outcome, even though it might be negative.
2. You can avoid change by sabotaging yourself. You might not like your current job, but you know everyone and how to navigate through the company. Familiarity is one form of comfort. A new job brings a lot of uncertainty.
- You don’t know whether you’ll enjoy a new job or not. You don’t know whether you’ll like your boss or co-workers. You don’t know how much stress you’ll face.
- Sabotaging yourself can keep you in your comfort zone, even if it isn’t very comfortable.
3. You might feel that you deserve failure. If your self-esteem is low, you might believe that you deserve to fail.
Self-sabotage is common. It’s also comforting in its own way. Self-sabotage is also a great hindrance to progress and happiness. Repeated failures can ruin anyone’s attitude.
Defeat Self-Sabotage and Lead a New Life
1. Take a look at your past failures. When you made poor choices, consider your thoughts. Were they reasonable? No one is perfect, and you’re bound to make mistakes. However, when you do something you know is wrong, take note.
- Do this for every “failure” you’ve had. Pay particular attention to your past actions. If you see signs of self-sabotage, ask yourself why you did it. Do you see a pattern?
2. Determine appropriate behavior. After recognizing the times you’ve sabotaged yourself, determine what you should have done. Take the time to figure out what the best course of action would have been. Do this for each instance of self-sabotage you’ve noticed.
3. Think about how much self-sabotage has cost you in the past. You’ve missed out on a lot because of self-sabotage. Do you make less money, have fewer friends, and live a less fulfilling life because you sabotage yourself? Realize how much you’ve cost yourself, and changing will be easier.
4. How much has your self-sabotage harmed others? How have your friends, family, and other loved ones been affected? Living a small life has an impact on everyone around you. Give yourself effective reasons to change your behavior.
Self-sabotage is a defense mechanism. Sabotaging yourself keeps you safe and in control, at the expense of making any real progress in your life. Stopping this pattern of behavior requires reflection, honesty, and a little courage. Examine your life for instances of self-sabotage, make the necessary changes to your behavior, and enjoy your resulting success!