Missing an Old Friend? How to Heal from a Falling Out

forgivenessYou probably never thought that a negative experience could have the magnitude capable of breaking your friendship apart. But then it happened. Now you find that it’s difficult to get over the hurt of that falling out, and adjusting to live without your friendmost likely hasn’t been easy.
The good news, however, is that although healing isn’t easy, it’s certainly possible.
Try these strategies to get past the hurt and enable healing:
1.  Acknowledge that everything happens for a reason.As cliché as it sounds, everything does happen for a reason. Although you may not see the reason now, it’s important to trust that your best interests are being served.

  • Dwelling on a situation never makes it go away. In fact, the longer you think about something, the more present it will remain in your life. Try to just let it go.

2.  Forgive.Perhaps the most difficult part of healing after a painful falling out is actually forgiving the other person. You’ve probably never felt as offended, hurt and betrayed as you do now, but the longer you hold on to that feeling, the harder it’ll be for healing to take place.

  • Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It’s okay if the memories come back from time to time.They help to remind you of what you experienced so you can prevent it from happening again.
  • The reason forgiveness feels so hard is because it’s a massive hurdle. But once you get over that hurdle, everything else – including healing – will fall into place quite easily.

3.  Connect with your spiritual side.Oftentimes, soul searching is the answer to moving on from a hurtful time in your life. It’s easy to place the responsibility for your own healing on somebody or something else, when in fact it’s 100 percent up to you!

  • Digging deep into your spiritual self will help you unearth the strengths needed to get through this tough time.
  • Meditation and soul searching will help you to define what can really make you happy, so you can focus on reinvigorating those things in your life.

4.  Accept the lesson – and the responsibility for your part in the disagreement.Great experiences have taught you many things – how to love, laugh, and really connect emotionally. Those are all things you learned from the relationship with your friend, and they’ll help you build strong, lasting friendships once again!

  • Taking responsibility for your part of the disagreement gives you the power to forgive yourself as well as your friend.

There’s no rule for how long you should remain in the hurting phase. Everybody’s healing time and techniques are different. But just know that a big part of it relies on your desire to be happy again.
If you take a step back and really think about what’s important to you, you’ll realize that your peace of mind and happiness fall right at the top of the list.And the only way you’ll have those things again is by letting go and allowing the healing to take place.
When you use these strategies, you’ll find yourself well on the road to recovery. Once you’re over the hurt, you might even want to reach out to re-connect with your old friend – and maybe even help them heal as well.

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