Raising a Black Belt
The Parents' Guide to Growing Confident, Respectful, Resilient Kids
When most parents hear the term “black belt,” they think of high kicks, swift movements, and crisp forms. But the real belt you want your child to earn isn’t tied around their waist—it’s the one they carry inside.
At Tri-Star Martial Arts Academy, we’ve seen firsthand that the most powerful part of earning a black belt isn’t about perfect technique. It’s about the transformation of character that happens over time.
Does This Sound Like Your Child?
PRE-ORDER Now for Just $0.99 | Kindle Edition | Launches November 18, 2025
Struggles with confidence – Hesitates to speak up in class, avoids new challenges, or constantly seeks your approval before trying anything
Gets pushed around – Whether it’s physical bullying or social pressure, your child doesn’t know how to stand up for themselves respectfully
Gives up easily – Starts projects with enthusiasm but quits at the first sign of difficulty or frustration
Lacks discipline – Struggles to follow through on commitments, finish homework, or stick with activities long enough to see results
Glued to screens – Prefers video games and social media over real-world activities, friends, and challenges
Disrespectful behavior – Talks back, ignores instructions, or shows little regard for authority figures or family values
You’re not alone. Thousands of parents in Bradley, Bourbonnais, Kankakee, New Lenox, Frankfort, and Mokena have walked into Tri-Star Martial Arts Academy with these exact concerns.
And they’ve watched their children transform.
PRE-ORDER Now for Just $0.99 | Kindle Edition | Launches November 18, 2025
What If You Could Raise a "Black Belt" Child?
Not necessarily a child who knows martial arts—but a child who embodies black belt character:
- Grit –The ability to keep going when things are hard, boring, or uncomfortable
- Respect – Treats others with kindness while commanding respect themselves
- Resilience – Bounces back from failure and sees challenges as opportunities
- Discipline – Follows through on commitments and works toward long-term goals
- Leadership – Inspires peers, stands up for what’s right, and leads by example
This is what “Raising a Black Belt” teaches you to build in your child—step by step, principle by principle.
"Raising a Black Belt"
This isn’t just another parenting theory book. “Raising a Black Belt” is a practical, proven roadmap based on over three decades of transforming children at Tri-Star Martial Arts Academy.
Master instructor Duane Brumitt has watched thousands of children progress from timid beginners to confident leaders. He’s seen 5-year-olds who wouldn’t make eye contact become teenagers who speak at school assemblies. He’s witnessed bullied kids become anti-bullying advocates.
Now, he’s sharing the exact principles that made it happen.
What You’ll Learn:
Chapter 1: The Real Belt You Want Your Child to Earn – Discover why the most important belt isn’t tied around your child’s waist—it’s the one they carry inside. Learn the five character traits (grit, respect, confidence, discipline, leadership) that define a true black belt in life.
Chapter 2: Yes, I Can! Teaching Grit, One Challenge at a Time – How to help your child transform “I can’t” into “I did” through healthy challenges and the power of descriptive encouragement. Includes the “Grit Chart” strategy you can start using today.
Chapter 3: Discipline Isn’t a Punishment – It’s a Gift – Why real discipline isn’t about control—it’s about self-control. Learn how to build internal motivation through gentle structure, consistent routines, and language that builds responsibility.
Chapter 4: Respect Is the Root of All Confidence – The surprising connection between how your child treats others and how they feel about themselves. Discover why respect-first parenting creates the kind of confidence that doesn’t need to be loud.
Chapter 5: From White Belt to Role Model – How Leadership Develops – Leadership doesn’t begin at black belt—it begins at white belt. Learn how to recognize and nurture “micro-leadership” moments that shape your child into someone others want to follow.
Chapter 6: The Power of Showing Up (Even When They Don’t Want To) – What to do when your child says “I don’t feel like going to class today.” Why consistency matters more than motivation, and how showing up on hard days builds unshakeable character.
Chapter 7: How to Be a Black Belt Parent (Supporting Without Pushing) – Master the art of encouraging without over-coaching. Learn the exact language patterns that build internal motivation and discover why sometimes less coaching = more progress.
Chapter 8: Quitting Hurts More Than You Think – The hard truth about letting kids quit too soon—and how to hold the line gently. Includes strategies for helping your child push through the valley right before their breakthrough.
Conclusion: You’re Not Just Raising a Martial Artist, You’re Raising a Leader – The real black belt isn’t made of cotton and doesn’t hang on a wall—it’s made of every moment your child chooses to get back up and keep trying.
Is This Book Right for You?
“Raising a Black Belt” is perfect if you:
- Have a child ages 5-16 (principles apply across all developmental stages)
- Want to build confidence and self-esteem in your child
- Are concerned about bullying (either your child being bullied or becoming a bully)
- Struggle with discipline and follow-through at home
- Want to reduce screen time and build real-world resilience
- Are looking for practical, actionable strategies (not just theory)
- Value character development over just academic or athletic achievement
- Want a proven system used by thousands of families
Your child does NOT need to be in martial arts to benefit from this book. The principles work for any child, in any activity, in any family.
Meet Duane Brumitt
Master Instructor | Author | Speaker | Father
Duane Brumitt has spent over three decades answering the same question from parents: “How do I raise a confident, respectful child in today’s world?”
As the owner of Tri-Star Martial Arts Academy in Bradley and New Lenox, Illinois, Duane has helped thousands of families navigate the challenges of modern parenting. He’s a master instructor in multiple martial arts disciplines, including Tang Soo Do, Kickboxing, Ju-Jitsu, and Haganah.
But more importantly, he’s watched transformation happen—again and again.
He’s seen:
Shy 5-year-olds become confident public speakers
Bullied children become anti-bullying advocates
Unfocused kids become honor roll students
Disrespectful teens become respectful young adults
Families grow closer through shared values
Duane’s mission is simple: Help parents raise children who don’t just succeed—they lead with character, confidence, and compassion.
Other books by Duane Brumitt:
30 Days to Higher Self-Esteem for Your Child
Goal Realization Made Easy
A Year to Remember: Year One
A Year to Remember: Year Two
Real Transformation from Real Families
Isaiah, Age 7 – From Distracted to Disciplined “Isaiah used to interrupt, wander off, and forget instructions. Over his first few months at Tri-Star, something shifted. He began to self-correct. He stood still longer. He responded ‘Yes, sir!’ faster. At home, his mom noticed he was packing his backpack at night without being asked. When she praised him, he simply said, ‘That’s what black belts do.'”
Lily, Age 9 – Finding Her Voice Through Respect “Lily was soft-spoken and had trouble asserting herself in school. She was kind—but easily overlooked. As she learned how to speak clearly and bow confidently, she started making eye contact. She raised her hand in class. She started tutoring a new white belt. Her mom said, ‘She doesn’t just respect others now—she respects herself.'”
James – The Reluctant Leader “James wasn’t your typical ‘leader’ type. He was quiet, observant, and often second-guessed himself. But during a class, a younger student struggled with a simple form. Without prompting, James stepped over, whispered encouragement, and demonstrated the move. That single act changed how James saw himself. He realized, ‘I have something to offer.’ Today, James is a junior assistant and greets every white belt with a smile and guidance.”
Mia and the Midweek Wall “Mia loved martial arts… until about six months in. Suddenly, she resisted getting ready. Her parents decided to lean in with encouragement. They kept bringing her. They praised her effort. A few weeks later, she was beaming after passing a stripe test she thought she’d fail. Now, Mia tells other students, ‘It’s okay to have bad days—just don’t quit on them.'”
Evan – Three Months from Black Belt “Evan was three months from his black belt test when he told his mom he was done. We gave him a week’s break and renewed focus. He returned quietly, determined. When he passed his black belt test, he cried—not from exhaustion, but from relief. ‘I almost missed this because I got scared. I’m glad I didn’t.'”
Nolan and the Sidekick Spiral “Nolan struggled with one move: the sidekick. His dad, a former athlete, kept correcting him from the bench. The result? Nolan got more tense and eventually didn’t want to go to class. His dad agreed to try observing quietly and praising effort afterward. Within two weeks, Nolan’s confidence returned. A month later, his sidekick landed clean—and he turned to the bench with a smile.”
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Launch Date: November 18, 2025 at 9:00 AM CST
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Regular Price After Launch: $4.77
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Frequently Asked Questions
Most frequent questions and answers about Duane Brumitt's Raising A Black Belt Book
Absolutely! While the principles come from martial arts training, they apply to ANY child in ANY activity. The book teaches universal character traits—confidence, respect, discipline, resilience—that work whether your child is in sports, arts, academics, or simply navigating everyday life.
If your child is struggling with specific confidence issues right now, “30 Days to Higher Self-Esteem for Your Child”offers immediate, actionable strategies you can implement today.
The principles work for children ages 5-16. The book includes age-specific guidance and real stories spanning elementary students, middle schoolers, and teenagers. Start applying these strategies at any age and adapt them as your child grows.
Most parenting books are written by theorists. This book is written by someone who has spent three decades in the trenches with thousands of real children and real families. These aren’t theories—they’re proven strategies with measurable results.
Many parents report noticeable changes within 2-4 weeks of consistently applying these principles. However, building lasting character is a journey, not a quick fix. This book gives you the roadmap for long-term transformation.
Yes! The structured, step-by-step approach in this book is particularly effective for children with ADHD. The story of Isaiah (Chapter 3) shows how clear expectations and consistent practice helped a high-energy, easily distracted child develop self-control and responsibility.
Chapter 8 addresses this directly. The book teaches you how to distinguish between real desire and frustration response, and provides specific language to help your child push through the valley right before their breakthrough. Quitting too soon teaches “When things get hard, I leave.” Finishing teaches “I can do hard things.”
Chapter 7 teaches the art of “Black Belt Parenting”—encouraging without over-coaching. The key is using descriptive language that builds internal motivation (“I noticed you kept trying even when it was hard”) rather than evaluative praise (“Good job!”). You’ll learn when to step back, when to lean in, and how to let your child own their progress while you provide the safety net of unconditional support.
It’s a simple home strategy from Chapter 2. Every time your child finishes a task they didn’t want to do, tries something again after failing, or practices on their own, you add a mark or sticker. At the end of the week, you celebrate their effort—not just achievements, but what they pushed through.
It’s never too late! While earlier intervention is ideal, teenagers absolutely benefit from these principles. The book includes stories and guidance for teens while maintaining the core values of respect, confidence, and leadership.
While Duane Brumitt’s Christian values inform his teaching, this book focuses on universal character principles that work for families of all backgrounds and beliefs.
The Kindle version launches November 18, 2025 at $0.99. A paperback version will be available shortly after launch at regular price.
Your Child's Transformation Starts Today
Limited-Time Launch Price
The real black belt isn’t made of cotton.It’s not earned on test day.It doesn’t hang on a wall.
It’s made of every moment your child chooses to get back up. Every “Yes, I can.”Every “I’m still trying.”Every “I won’t quit.”
It’s in their eyes when they believe in themselves. It’s in their words when they encourage someone else. It’s in their actions when no one’s watching.
That’s the black belt you’re helping them earn.
And for less than the cost of a coffee, you can access over three decades of proven strategies to help your child build it.
Pre-order “Raising a Black Belt” today for just $0.99.
Launches November 18, 2025
Pre-Order Price: $0.99 (Regular Price: $4.77)
Kindle Edition – Instant Delivery on Launch Day
[PRE-ORDER NOW ON AMAZON]
Want to Experience These Principles in Person?
Tri-Star Martial Arts Academy offers classes for children ages 5+ in Bradley and New Lenox, Illinois.
Bradley Location: 275 N Industrial Dr, Bradley, IL Serving Bradley, Bourbonnais, and Kankakee
New Lenox Location: 12410 W Horseshoe Dr, Unit 1, New Lenox, IL Serving New Lenox, Frankfort, and Mokena