Even though you may not think much about it, it always feels good when someone takes the time and makes the effort to help you feel better about yourself. Whether it’s a compliment, gesture, or facial expression, it feels great to know someone is considering your feelings.
Have you ever thought about making an effort to strengthen your spouse’s self-esteem? It’s important to demonstrate your love and affection with actions that help increase your partner’s positive feelings about himself.
Try these strategies to raise your spouse’s self-esteem:
1. Notice the little things your spouse does for you. Does he always open doors for you or pull out your chair when dining out? Perhaps she consistently asks what you’d like to have for dinner.
- Say something like, “Wow, that was so nice” or “I really appreciate a beautiful woman cooking and serving a meal for me” to boost your spouse feelings about herself.
2. Take delight in your spouse’s presence. Even at the busiest, most hectic times, stop what you’re doing to acknowledge your spouse’s presence. Greet each other with love and care. Your spouse will feel great when you pay more attention to him than to anyone else in the room.
3. Compliment something they do well. Does she set the most beautiful table when guests are coming for dinner? Does he always clean your car inside and out, making it look like new? Compliment these gestures of love from your spouse. After all, not everyone can do what he does as well as he does it. Let him know that.
4. Notice when he really enjoys doing a task or other activity. For example, say something like, “I can tell that you had a great time helping Jack paint his house today. And you did a fantastic job!” Your positive comments to your partner about what you notice about him serve to shore up some extra self-esteem.
- Plus, your remarks will cause your spouse to reflect on what he was doing and recognize, “Hey, yeah, I really do enjoy doing that and I’m good at it! I’m going to make some plans to do it again soon.”
5. Show consistent support and confidence when your spouse appears to be struggling with a particular issue. If your spouse is trying to lose some weight, for example, and has been disappointed with the results, let her know you see her efforts and that you believe they’ll pay off.
- Comment, “Let’s take a 15 minute walk every day after work before dinner time” to demonstrate your strong support for her. She’ll feel cherished to know you’re there for her and that you understand what she’s going through. When she feels like she’s worth it and that you’ve got confidence in her, those feelings translate to self-esteem.
6. When your spouse makes a change, be aware of it. Compliment the change.
- For example, if he shaves off his beard or tries a different style of clothing, make comments such as, “You look so young without your beard” or “That color of shirt complements the color of your eyes very nicely. I think we should get you some more clothes in that shade.”
One of the most important factors about being a spouse is to always be there emotionally for the other person. Using strategies that raise your spouse’s self-esteem will strengthen your relationship and deepen the love and respect you feel for each other.
Practice these strategies to raise your spouse’s self-esteem. Your partner will appreciate you even more!